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- I wish this had been the movie it wanted to be? Like I loved all the themes about violence and anger and stuff. LOVED. I adored how the movie basically acknowledged that Loki is much the same as the other guys; he's just more honest about it (and kind of having an intergalactic emotional breakdown)

- Bruce Banner was my stealth favourite. I have given precisely zero fucks about the hulk up until this point. I love how intimately he knows his own capacity for violence. Everyone else can talk about the greater good or duty or necessity or whateverthefuck, but Bruce Banner knows at heart that sometimes he just wants to destroy shit. I LOVE IT. Also, super well acted, I thought.

- On the other side of that is Natasha, who is so utterly, perfectly cold. I knew her scene with Loki was coming but I still freaked out a little. GOD. SHE WAS SO PERFECT. As I said to lizzen, Natasha is everything Loki wants to be. Love is for children; I owe him a debt. She is dispassionate, unemotional, in control. Loki wants to believe that love is for children, but he himself is still such a child. He's utterly driven by his needs and his emotions. And she just fucking destroys him. GOD. MY PERFECT RUTHLESS KILLER ANGEL. I loved that her choice to go after loki is about debts and her choices and the personal narrative of her life, not about high ideals or saving the world. It was a ruthless choice. adfjkalsfjklsa natashaaaaa. I'm currently reading Catherynne Valente's Deathless which is about russian fairytales and has a lot to do with cruelty, necessity, and power and I think a lot of my black widow feels are getting filtered through that. I dunno. I've seen a lot of conflicting readings of Black Widow on the tumblrs. Maybe her work with SHIELD is about atonement, but I prefer to see it as a choice, as the thing that would allow her the greatest possible freedom. I see Natasha as a woman who knows what she is; she knows what she's done and who she's killed and has made her peace with that. It's how she's able to play people so well. She doesn't turn away from herself, so there's no blindside to exploit.

Also can I just say. That on a team comprised wall to wall of dudes with superpowers, there's Natasha. A tiny girl who everyone underestimates, who conquers them all with her raw will and her clenched fists. Just leave me here to die.

- It would have been an exponentially more interesting movie if they had managed to tone down (or at least problematize) the stars and stripes americana boner. Like wow furey's manipulation and captain america the living legend!!! oh my god whatever. I really didn't like the resolution--it felt like a break from the rest of the story, like it jumped tracks from "everyone is a violent motherfucker" to "and now we overcome our differences with the power of america!" (I'm being snide). But really, I kind of wish the end had been about looking into violence and anger and difference and sitting with it, rather than resolving or erasing it. IDK WORDS!! I wish this movie had committed to its own themes.

- I really hope Loki and Thor hugged and made up ;_;


- The most important question of all: What happened in Budapest????

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October 2013

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